29th November 2014 Helen 13Comment

Santa Letters

Round here we have a rule. There’s no talking about Christmas or Santa until there’s about a month to go. It’s not an exact date in the calendar. Let’s just say it wholly depends on when I find I really need the enticement that Santa and a large bag of pressies offers.  Safe to say, we have hit that point.

The eldest two are well warned that if they talk about it too early, Santa wakes up with a headache and instantly puts them on a naughty list.  This year, being the first that we have a school-goer, is the first where we have one child who thinks he is smart enough to try and beat the system. For a couple of weeks there have been attempts to circumvent the house rules. Spidey, showing an uncharacteristic streak of sneakiness, and has taken to asking probing questions about the one he calls ‘The Man’.  Generally he picks quiet but public locations – like the library, the traffic lights outside the school or a small shop to probe for information.

When is The Man visiting us?

How does The Man get into our house?

Is The Man watching us right now?

If we are good for The Man will we get nice things?

When are we going to tell The Man what we like?

Will we feed The Man and his friends?

Do you pay The Man?

And on it goes.

As November has passed Yoda has become increasingly worried about some bearded bloke (that isn’t her Daddy) breaking into our home and spying on us. I’ve had to do a little intervention here and there to allay her mounting fears and explain who The Man really is, while shooting the smart arse a dirty look. Spidey’s schoolfriends have been drawn into the deceit. Apparently they’ve been convening meetings on the other side of the yard to discuss important matters (like the best pages of the Smyth’s catalogue) to save him from getting in trouble lest he overhears their plotting.

By now I have no idea how many people in the Fairview / Marino area have heard the questions about The Man and wonder about my parenting skills and the dangers posed to my children.  I have no idea how many Junior Infants have been telling their parents about Spidey’s man-friend and his unfettered access to our home. Best case I’m now thought of as some very liberal swinger. Worst case I’m probably on some Social Services naughty list.

On hearing it’s officially ok to talk about Christmas, Spidey marched down the road shouting ‘Santa, Santa, Santa. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas’. Clearly he’s been supressing himself.  In the 24 hours since the news broke, Santa and Christmas alternate as the second or third word in most sentences.  They are, quite literally, trending.

I’ll resist decorations and the repeated need to pick up the tree for a week or two yet, but the physical signs are there.  The three Christmas hats are on the go already.  One is a chintzy car crash of a self-designed yoke from a few years ago that Spidey is strangely attached to, but thankfully the other two are freshly knit and a tad more tasteful.  Just a tad mind.  For possibly the last year we remained immune to the Late Late Toy Show with it’s streams of Billy Barry dancers, lame jokes from Ryan and, with it have avoided the danger of last-minute changes to The List. Next year, when we start down that road I’ll have a fridge stocked with wine, and Ryan may seem hilarious.

Letters have been written thanks to the lovely template from Sadhbh at Where Wishes Come From and thankfully everyone has stuck to the script. I’m fine with items like ‘the farting monkey’ but not so enthusiastic about any surprise late additions. Next up, we’re heading into the Powerscourt Theatre for an Interactive Christmas Story with a gang from the Irish Parenting Bloggers.  From this point on we’ve regular catch ups with various incarnations of The Man as the mania builds.

Yup. It’s undeniably that time of year!

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13 thoughts on “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

    1. I swear to you it was her that decided singing Elsa is too loud!!! But I do admit to relief that I don’t have to punch anyone in Smyths!
      See you tomorrow. You’ll get to see our tacky hats!

  1. How CLEVER is your son?!?! The Man! That’s hilarious.

    We attempted ‘The Latest Toy Show’ last night. I got a worrying insight into what kind of drunk one of my daughters might make in the future. She was drunk on ‘sweets and tiredness’ and was hilariously belligerent, snarling at all of us every five minutes. Goodness knows what she’ll be like on her first alco-pop in 14 years time!

    Christmas is a-go here too. Lots of plans – including seeing you guys at the show tomorrow!

    P.S. What a thrill to see my printables up there – thanks for sharing!!
    Sadhbh@WhereWishesComeFrom recently posted…Santa’s Little BuddyMy Profile

    1. Clever?! Tell the social worker when they come around to interview us!!!
      I can only imagine the state ours would have been in! You were both brave and stupid to have succumbed!
      Looking forward to tomorrow x

    1. Sweet Jesus Naomi! Needless to say this is all in store for us next year. For now, things – aside from the creepy Man stuff, are manageable!

  2. The good thing about Thanksgiving is it stands as an immovable object between Halloween and Christmas (not that the shops pay any attention, because if you don’t sell turkeys or sprouts you’re not profitting from anything for Thanksgiving), so it’s quite easy to impose a domestic embargo on everything Christmas related until that’s over.

    However, I am now looking at two Christmas lists sitting on my kitchen table which have each been added to at least twice, and one of which contains a lot of totally unrealistic requests. (I will remain a Grinch about Christmas until it’s December. Luckily, that’s tomorrow.)

    1. I’m with you Grinch! I LOVE Christmas but am not a big fan of being strung out on it for months and months. Just the one will do thanks!

  3. Smart cookie is your Spidey! I am worse than the kids in our house – I’ve been all “bring it on” since midnight on October 31st so it tends to be me bringing up conversations about The Man…
    Yes I think next year we may have to keep ours up for the Late Late Toy Show too – I didn’t this year but kind of missed them then when I was watching!
    Office Mum recently posted…The Moods of Motherhood – Ebb and FlowMy Profile

    1. You see that’s where I have one up on you! RT makes me itch so I happily netflixed my way through the Toy Show and – aside from a nice headline about Ed Sheeran, remain oblivious to any of it! Next year, we can remotely drink wine while the childers go mad, leaving husbands to do delayed bedtimes!

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